Just a little something that I kept repeating to myself yesterday. See the night before was rough. Waking up at 3:30 in the morning kinda rough looking for the husbeast rough. He wasn't out gallivanting, he was at the computer, trying as quickly as he may to stop all my files on my pretty little G5 Mac from being deleted. I am a bit sad, but not overly forlorn any longer. Well it's a hacker virus rewritten kernel thing that I don't think I should go into detail about. I mean who knows who's watching now. I just feel a bit violated still. Needless to say there are now 4 dead computers and a few of computer savvy peeps working overtime, (go friends and family go!).
The thing that is a little more pissy is that unless there is a large financial loss, there is no agency in the United States to help individuals who have been compromised by a crime of technology. I understand that it is a newer crime what with the onset of internet this and internets that, but the police won't even come out and take a report on the situation, nor the FBI open a file for us (yes I called the FBI). This may very well be a local job, just as much as it may be International. We're not exactly sure yet. So needless to say, there will be yet another moratorium on the picts scene. And I had so many previous FO's to start posting about! Agggh. Luckily the house is laden with old computers so we may not even need to run right out and get the latest in technology, but in the meantime I can assure you the husbeasts energy is not going to be focused upon setting up a new system as he will be focusing on the old one for a bit.
So last night when I was thinking to myself, the phrases cool, calm, and collected; it dawned on me that what a change in the state of being that my mind is now in. See back in my early 20's I had a lover that mentioned that women were 3 C's, and being the doting gal that I was I tending to believe him. Well also I did abide by them more so I should say. The three C's he likened to women are; Coy, Cunning, and Conniving. All of which I surely was, but it was a defensive mode that I had gotten into. One that helped to protect my heart. I realize how I've changed in that I am striving to be a strong and not weepy woman for the love of my husband. Now I envision the 3 C's to pertain to; Calm, Cool, and Collected. What an epiphany. I no longer have to protect my heart, I have a family, I have the love of my life there in thick and thin. I must be strong for him, and for myself.
So in light of all this terrible crap that has occurred in such a harsh way I am actually able to smile and have a light heart today, because I am not alone in this crap. And I don't have to be weak, and look out for #1. There is no #1 in a marriage, this is a partnership and together we will surf through it.
I know what a sap, but it's all true. I love my husbeast and the life that we are making together. And I hat hackers that destroy and rewrite computers that aren't even theirs. (Some people suck donkey balls!)
Cheers, and here's to knitting in the nude.
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